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Post by penneme on Jun 8, 2006 9:11:01 GMT -5
I was shy back in highschool...NOT. Actually back then it was not cool to tell a guy he was hot or that you had a major crush on someone. You just had to tell friends and the word got around.
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Post by lanceanator on Jun 9, 2006 8:33:10 GMT -5
HMMM?? shy.... it is interesting to note that there is (or at least I thought there was) a difference between the kids today and the way we were then.... going on a date and promiscuity (and sex) all seemed a hush hush thing then and only those in grade 12 or 13 ever got passed the holding of hands and kissing part...or so I thought. Todays kids are more educated and more bold and general topic of conversation is who banged whom and where or at what party. Sure there are still those shy, timid types, but having had a 17 yr old foster child in the thick of a hormone curve, you get to hear alot. Judging by the, although some what embellished, stories of this foster male child and his friends, being shy and timid is not the norm. Were things really all that different then? and did I simply missed out? Was the Sadie Hawkins dance a slight roose for what really went on behind the sceens? Was there a slightly different intramural sport I was unaware of? Alas I digress.... cheers Lance
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Post by penneme on Jun 9, 2006 8:57:03 GMT -5
Lance as a parent of three kids (22,19,17) I know todays kids are alot different than we were. Sex is more openly discussed among parents and kids today then it was back in the 70's. With the invention of the internet, it has also pushed sex and sexual activity to the fore front. But as a parent i discussed sex and its complications with all my kids. I think if more parents did that there would be alot less teenage pregnacies then there are. Knowing that having a child while still really a child can ruin your whole life is something teenage boys and girls need to learn and understand. As for Sadie Hopkins dances, it was our way of letting someone know we had a interest in them.. Altho i dont think back then it was sexual, or maybe it was for some. Things have sure changed from our calm carefree high school days. I would hate to been a teenager now.. Peer pressure is a terrible thing.
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Post by lanceanator on Jun 10, 2006 8:04:39 GMT -5
Peer pressure is still peer pressure and will aways be as long as society is based on the haves and have nots. We all wanted the things we didn't have and the difference today is when they want them they get them!! This is partly due to the parents giving in or getting it for them regardless of the financial pressure or the kids just simply find a way to get it. Peer pressure hasn't changed... kids still want to be noticed and be the coolest like we did in high school. I have notice though, with the pressure society has placed on kids, or placed on the parents who place it on the kids, kids want things NOW with little forthought or appreciation. It is little wonder there is such a strain on the family unit with the honour and exaltations we have bestowed upon the stars and athletes of the world. Sex? sex is more of a game than a respected coupling of two adults. The younger ones treat it as they would the latest version of x-box ( the game of the week) What happened to the chase, the adventure, the feelings, dare I say love. Remember when we went to a house party with a small bottle of booze with the intenton finishing it and having a good time with friends? Today the kids go to a friends place with as much booze as they care carry to drink before they go out to the bar and the bars are open till 3 or later because the kids don't get ready to go out until 11:00!? I remember our parents saying we had to be home by midnight... cheers Lance
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Post by adultgrad on Jun 11, 2006 14:13:56 GMT -5
I wonder what has happened to the idea of respect that children used to give their parents. Is that parents do not warrant that repsect now or have we all gone to hell in a handbasket. Life is soooo different from the 40's and 50's but not any better. Momsey
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Post by penneme on Jun 12, 2006 8:01:51 GMT -5
I think its that most kids are taught early on in school that parents can not yell at you or punish you that has taken away alot of parental rights. As soon as a parents tries to teach child respect and correct them when they are wrong, the kids start to yell " Im calling CAS"..my kids tried it and i simply went to the phone and said dont bother i will call myself.. They learned that mom wasnt going to take their crap and things got alot better for both of us. The government and their agencies have no place in the raising of children.. if they want the responsibility then lets all drop our kids off on Stephen Harpers doorstep and let him do it.
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Post by lanceanator on Jun 12, 2006 8:23:19 GMT -5
AHHH the old "you can't touch me" thing....If I had kids it would be " I brought you into this world, I can take you out!" and " remember... the time it takes for the cops to get here , you're mine" Momesy?? is that Janey D? MOM? If children were raised on respect for elders and themselves you wouldn't need as much discipline and I believe we would not then have as many problems as we do today. We have taken the respnsibility and the accountability away from the parents and placed it on the childrens aid society who are so over stretched in there resources they can't cope either. The C.A.S. in turn places kids with anyone who is willing to take on the task of raising someone elses kids ! Don't get me started! Well that's all my opinion anyway. cheers Lance
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Post by Ruth Bacon on Jun 12, 2006 11:40:49 GMT -5
Everyone here speaks from the perspective of parents who take their role seriously and who have invested in their children so that they can become successful, well-adjusted adults. While I expect that those of you who support "spanking" have never really used it as a planned disciplinary action, but would prefer not to be held legally accountable for the "back hander" or "whack on the bum" that escaped you when you were at your wits end and no other action was going to give the correct degree of emphasis to the situation. We've all been there.
That said, there are many people who don't take parenting as seriously as others - you all read the news. Children are beaten, abused and killed as a result of people who interpret their role and rights more broadly than the average parent, grandparent or foster parent. Someone - a family member, a neighbour, a teacher or the government, must ensure that these children have somewhere to turn.
If your kids seem to know their "rights" and be happy to toss them in your face, and those of their teachers, it's because they are media children. Every day from the time they are four or five they are bombarded with messages that tell them "Don't trust adults". "Adults you trust could be trying to trick you." And we, as parents, typically re-inforce these messages. These are the messages they are getting instead of "respect your elders" And they are getting it for a reason - Some adults do bad things. In our time when we "respected our elders' - or at least didn't question them, our parents took the teacher's word before they took our words. If we were punished at school, chances are we were also punished at home. We just sucked it up - sometimes what was endured was illegal and had our parents been willing to open their eyes, they might have had a different reaction. (Not at Bayside that I'm aware of, but certainly at other schools).
Our kids live in a different world from ours and we have taught them to trust and respect only those who not only "talk the talk" but those who "walk the walk".
Teachers do have a dramatic influence on our kids, the ones who treat them with respect, acknowledge their individuality and encourage them. It's not every teacher for sure (it never was). But one will typically do it. We need to give our kids the skills and confidence to look for that teacher, form a relationship and benefit from a good role mode.
Rant over.
Ruth
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Post by Trish on Jun 12, 2006 12:59:07 GMT -5
I don't think things are very different, sure times have changed and I think that is a good thing! I work in a public school and have 2 children in that school ages 10&8. I find that in my community (which is middle of the road) the children and school are respectful and the teachers go above and beyond! There are so many more clubs and community based programs then I ever had growing up. I would say walk a mile in the teachers shoes! Go through a day with 30 kids and increasing demands. I am proud of the children, parents and teachers I know. Sometimes I think we just get "old" er and need something to bark about. I bet that when we were growing up in the 70's or 80's or 90's that our parents didn't like a lot of what they were seeing either.
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Post by ROADRUNNER 12 on Jun 12, 2006 13:52:17 GMT -5
Excellent thoughts (rant), Ruth. I had more than my share of spankings on the bum, unlike my sisters. Spankings have a place, but not the wacks to the head like I see some parents use in the grocery store with a child acting up. The glutes are soft padding - I hated getting the belt (you knew you were bad) and the wooden sthingy, which my late mother would use. I know some parents who use "timeouts", sending the kids to their room...where they have a TV and toys to play with. I hated being grounded - that always made me think about being bad or doing something that would lead to a grounding. But spankings in public are not wise, as there are those who might report you to the police, as what happened in London, Ont., a few years ago. Don't embarrass your child while also giving them a few slaps on the rump. How did this subject come up anyway - BSS website is reading more like an episode with that doctor in the U.S. who vets out advice...to parents having trouble with their kids. Too funny. I do see the lack of respect shown by kids, especially a sports official. Telling me to f-off is so easy now if they don't like a call. Often, they are only emulating their parents in the stands, who are also verbally abusing the game official, whether they are 47 like me or 15 or 16 as some of the kids I assign games for soccer/hockey. I know I'd be suspended by my father if I talked to an official like that.....I would not have to worry about the league's sanctions for showing disrespect. A lot of the time it's all about attitude. Just ask the cops pulling over a caught speeder.....you might get off a stern warning with the right attitude. But show some attitude to the Mountie, and you're getting the coupon for speeding. Interesting thoughts, again, Ruth. And you too Lance. Wow.....impressive compositions.
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Post by lanceanator on Jun 13, 2006 9:32:51 GMT -5
Well how about that? more essays written here than I can remember writing in high school!! well at least thay sound a whole lot better and have a greater composition of grammar and eloquence of penmanship as Jules put it....just the spelling is a problem I can't get a handle on it, or really can't be bothered to care to take the time to address. Never the less you can certainly understand my garble after all these years of being out of school. Well said Ruth, I can tell you feel strongly about this subject. What are you doing to stay in shape... You look good. I know Jules is busy running around getting the best story or photo or up and down the field trying to keep up to the young'ns that's it for now...time for the gym work out. cheers Lance
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Post by Wanda Fry (Goodall) on Jun 13, 2006 18:24:52 GMT -5
Very interesting. Did we all think this deep back then? ;D
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Post by penneme on Jun 14, 2006 8:28:01 GMT -5
God no Wanda, if we had we would have been Rhodes Scholars now.. it comes with age and maturity I think.. Well for most of us anyway ..lol
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Post by lanceanator on Jun 14, 2006 8:39:01 GMT -5
Well said Elain... I agree it comes with maturity, although if you ask any wife sometimes the maturity reverts to it's infancy in the married male species lolol. I think back to the immature things I thought, said and did and wonder with some disdain as to the purpose of all my day to day wanderings. (now that's deep) I don't know if I have yet become the person I want to be... but I am on the right road. cheers Lance
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Post by penneme on Jun 15, 2006 6:27:32 GMT -5
Now Lance I am sure you are very mature all the time lol. All men have blonde male moments, even those who are not or never were blonde. I know my husband has them all the time. I think that too comes with age.
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